Let’s cut to the chase. I could make this column mimic my inspirational Pinterest boards and the happy-go-lucky quotes that my mom hangs up around the house, but life is so much more than acting like I’m not a big ball of stubbornness, uncertainty and anxiety.
Despite my harsh honesty, I also have to give myself credit for the ever-changing human being I am. Reflection is something I’ve been working on and sometimes it can come from within and oftentimes it comes from looking outside. Looking back on those so called “cheesy” talks with my mom at the dining room table, I can proudly say I’ve matured and they’re no longer “cheesy,” they’re the holy grail of self-compassion.
The name “Sophie” means wisdom in Greek origin. So no, this is not a narcissistic “study of Sophie,” this is a study of wisdom. This is a recap of what I’ve learned from my recent and past experiences. Some may be horribly embarrassing while others may be terribly heartbreaking. I might as well make this my tear-covered, ripped up diary that I found in my family’s old storage unit
To kick off this first issue, I want to reflect on optimism, something that I believe we share as a student body, especially at the beginning of the year. We all want hope for the future, but for me, I totally forgot that optimism comes with patience and acceptance.
For the past couple months, I’ve been so focused on maintaining positivity. I wouldn’t let myself feel any other emotion because I felt that it was wrong and it was taking away from my personal growth.
I bashed myself for feeling any sort of unpleasant emotion such as frustration or jealousy. I tried everything to get rid of these feelings with pounds worth of self-help books and endless late nights.
After suffering alone, I confided in my mom, a person who always makes me feel beautiful inside and out. She’s a sense of home for me. She reminded me that kindness is key. I realized that I was giving kindness and grace out to everyone but myself.
She was utterly and completely right. A question hit me just then, why is it so hard for humans to be kind to themselves? We are all so valuable and we were given this life to jump, shout, cry and scream at the top of our lungs while living out every emotion passionately. What would our world be without emotions, even the ones that feel unpleasant?
My mom shifted me to a refreshed state of mind. She showed me how to be human again. She showed me how to be with myself and my emotions, knowing that’s the greatest gift I can give to myself.
It’s easy to get stuck in one of those rigid and intense mindsets, but my mom has shown me that if I let another human in, I can gain some human back too.
Carrying on this reminder for my last year of high school, I hope that we can all learn to give ourselves room to make mistakes. As cliche as that sounds, I’ve learned to take that motto seriously, and in turn, take myself less seriously.
Has this been cheesy enough yet? Wow, I really need to be nicer to myself. That’s one of the many things I’ll work on going forward. I hope those who are reading this column can get a dose of relatability and wisdom moving forward. Let’s ride this rollercoaster of emotions together.