As the year 2023 progresses, it seems like there’s a new celebrity or public figure found to have done something wrong, including Colleen Ballinger, Lizzo, Doja Cat and even the singing guy on TikTok, just to name a few.

I’ve noticed there are usually two major sides to these situations. Some people will deny or minimize the allegations and blame them on “cancel culture,” while others are extremely disappointed and surprised. But should it really be surprising?

When people find celebrities whose work they enjoy, it can often progress into admiring them as people, obsessing over their work and ultimately spiral into a parasocial relationship with the celebrity. FindaPsychologic.org defines parasocial relationships as “one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence.”

Although these one-sided relationships can be a coping mechanism for many people, myself included, it often ends in more harm than good. Parasocial relationships more often than not dehumanize celebrities in the eyes of their fans, leading fans to have unrealistic expectations for their idols. It can also lead fans to subconsciously believe that their favorite celebrity owes them something, when in reality that celebrity doesn’t even know they exist.

I think Doja Cat’s current situation is a good example of this phenomenon. If you’re not familiar with the situation, Doja has been under fire for Tweets she made regarding her fans as “stupid” and “gullible” for enjoying her previous music, saying that those albums were just “cash grabs,” as well as saying she hates her fanbase for calling themselves by a certain name.

Although I don’t agree with Doja treating her fans this way, I do think it serves as a wake-up call for fans who are devoted not just to her, but to any public figure. No matter how much of their art you enjoy, how many of their lyrics you relate to or how many interviews or live shows you watch of them, you can never truly know your favorite celebrities. 

Parasocial culture has been ingrained in our culture for decades, and it’s only heightened with the influence of social media. You can still enjoy keeping up with your favorite celebrities, but every once in a while it’s healthy to remember the reality that you can never truly know someone who you’ve never met.