Slow WiFi proves to be beneficial


Senior Ethan Vanhalen II resorts to reading the dictionary as Bloons Tower Defense 5 struggles to load on his chromebook. “This is by far the worst thing I’ve ever Experienced,” Vanhalen said. “Now I’m mad and know 15 different words to express my anger with.”

Emma Wiese , Reporter

Wyatt Fye is an unassuming man. He is small in stature, has brown hair with greying temples, and a round, wrinkled face. It is hard to believe that he has the power to give and take Wi-Fi at will.

“Call me Mr. WyFye,” he says, with a smile.

Fye is in charge of the wireless internet in Indianapolis. He can control where it works best and where it is unreacheable, and all speed is at his will. For SHS, he has a very particular goal: to make the Wi-Fi as slow as possible.

“Children these days are spoiled,” Fye said. “They get everything they want right when they want it. This is my way of teaching them a lesson in patience, teaching them to be thankful for what they’ve got.”

This is a view that many people share. Millennials, in some people’s’ opinions, have never had to work for anything. In an age where phones are put in every toddlers’ hands, Fye’s plan to slow down internet in high schools is a plan shared by his whole family. His sister, Winona Fye, who is in charge of internet speeds for Muncie, expressed her hopes that their strategy will help change young people’s’ habits.

“Maybe they’ll finally crack open a book or something,” Winona said, “It’s not like you can learn anything on the web anyways.”

Opponents of their views have been few and far between. Protesters of the slow Wi-Fi have defended millennials, citing studies that have shown them to be the most informed generation yet, and others that show they work just as hard if not harder than past generations. These claims have been dismissed.

“It just doesn’t make any sense,” Wyatt said. “Young people are always lazy, always dumb, always filling their heads with nonsense. When I was that young, I had already gotten married, had three kids, bought a house, a dog, and a boat!”

When asked what he thought about the price of his living as a young man versus the price of living today, he had only one thing to say:

“It’s not about expense,” Fye said. “It’s about pulling up your bootstraps and working for it! Yeah, the normal house is five times more expensive today, but it doesn’t matter. They are just too spoiled to get their hands dirty!”