Goodbye texting and driving, hello texting and fighting

Phone brand allegiance leads to full-scale gang warfare


Various members of the Samsung Syndicate (left) and the iPhone Clan (right) are caught in a scuffle right after school. “It was the most vicious fight I’ve seen yet,” English teacher Kenny Colon, whose room fell host to the battle, said. “They acted like animals.”

Haley Miller, Reporter

Sophomore Samuel Wesley wiped a tear from his cheek as he described life in a gang.

“Everything was a blur,” Wesley said. “My brother was disowned because the Syndicate discovered his secret stash of Apple Airpods.”

Wesley belonged to one of two major gangs that have taken root at SHS: the Samsung Syndicate and the iPhone Clan. War broke out between them, according to Wesley, when the iPhone X was announced. This was confirmed by junior and Syndicate Leader Fred Shapiro.

Shapiro says the gangs had been in a Cold War for years, but the situation escalated and resulted in “large scale destruction.” Battles have occurred during lunches, after school activities and pep sessions.

To combat the opposing gang, the Samsung Syndicate has started using new forms of weaponry. Shapiro recently made use of an old Galaxy Note 7 by using the device like a bomb.

“The iPhone Clan initially made fun of us for having phones that spontaneously caught fire,” Shapiro said. “Who’s laughing now?”

Senior and iPhone Clan Leader Ashley Berry says administrators and teachers have tried to stop the gang warfare in the past, but the hatred between Apple users and Samsung users can “overcome anything.”

Berry was not able to conjure up a reason for the feud between Apple and Samsung users, but she says it will continue for years to come.

“For now, the war is pretty much even,” Berry said. “But, once we get ahold of the Face ID technology from the iPhone X, the iPhone Clan will get the high ground.”