My mind can only be described as a jumbled space. Remnants of the past float throughout on a constant spin cycle.
Because of this, I often find myself reminiscing about times that sculpted who I am today, who I was yesterday and who I’ll become tomorrow.
I think a lot. It’s a rewarding experience full of self-reflection that can lead to my personal growth and success.
My mind is a space where I can go back to see my greatest moments or to see the times that have lifted me up when I was too far down.
However, even though those moments take up a decent portion of my mind, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that my mind can be a sad space.
It’s a space that holds unpleasant memories, filled with sorrow and despair. Even so, the core of these unpleasant memories are filled with two emotions more prevalent than any others: embarrassment and regret.
At times without trying, I find myself replaying conversations that I had with someone, where I might have sounded “stupid” or “idiotic.” This then causes those feelings to creep into my mind.
Other times, I will beat myself down over the smallest mistakes that I made on a test or school assignment.

In society, this is normalized. We are supposed to care about how we are perceived, how we present ourselves and about how “dumb” we might look at times.
I was unaware how accustomed I had become to the process of caring for things that had happened in the past. But one song put everything into perspective for me.
“Do Not Wait,” the final song in Wallow’s first album “Nothing Happens,” explores the idea that one must let go of the past no matter how hard or scary it is. One verse in particular highlights this main idea.
The lyrics go, “All the things, you don’t wanna let go / You wanna look back on and recall / All the times, that feel like everything / when nothing really happens at all.”
There’s one question I’ve come to ask after listening to these lyrics, which is: why is it that we care the most about past memories that have portrayed us in a “negative” or “humiliating” light?

While it has become the common norm of society to worry about how we are portrayed, is it really worth it to take up so much space in our minds worrying about the little things that no one around us cares about?
We so desperately hold on to these memories, and let them make us feel embarrassed or stupid. These times can feel like “everything,” but at the same time have little to no significance in the broader aspect known as our lives.
Instead, we should use the space in our minds to think about happy and sad memories that will help us grow and feel better when a situation worth caring about arises.
Next time that you feel embarrassed or regretful about a certain situation of the past, I urge you to ask yourself, “Is this moment worth remembering?” The answer is probably not, because at the end of the day “nothing really happens at all.”