Somewhere along the way, we’ve learned that emotions need to be modified before they’re shared. We wait until we can explain them properly or until they become less of a mess. If we can’t explain them or they feel too big, we keep to ourselves. And that’s where the pressure to seem “OK” all the time starts. 

So where does this pressure show up most? 

It shows up in our friendships.

Sometimes, we feel like we need to hold it all together around our friends. Maybe if they see us hurting, it’ll change something. 

If they know we’re struggling, maybe they’ll see or treat us differently. 

Additionally, pressure can be seen through comparison. We look at other people’s lives and think, “Other people have it worse than I do. What reasons do I have to feel this way?” And this question itself is a big problem for many of us.

We often think we’ll get judged for feeling the way we do, with or without valid reasoning. 

We minimize our feelings and our experiences because other people have it worse, or we feel like we don’t have it bad enough to justify those feelings. So we decide not to let it show, not to talk about it. 

In response, we internalize our pain or make it less than it is. This creates a never-ending cycle of emotional suppression. 

Emotional suppression can show up in many different ways. It could simply be masking emotions, avoiding people, places or conversations that may be triggering, pushing down thoughts or feelings you don’t want to feel or show, numbing yourself or even resorting to substance abuse. 

In friendships, it may show up as not being consistent in the relationship and being cold towards the other person. They might also not provide emotional support if the other needs or asks for it. In the end, they may even completely pull away from the friendship.

Overall, it’s important to prioritize vulnerability in every friendship. It creates a strong bond and connection. Ultimately, this allows the friendship to grow and thrive instead of fall apart. 

Not only is it essential that we allow each other to be vulnerable and honest in friendships, but also in life in general. Everyone needs to express their feelings without comparison and judgment. Being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong in a way most people never allow themselves to be.