I am full of unsaid words, some I regret holding in and some I pray are never spoken into existence. Throughout the entirety of my life, I’ve heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words.” But as I near the end of my childhood, I can’t help but question the validity of those words and their implications.

Growing up, I always felt as though actions were merely just a gesture to depict words that never escaped thought.

And while actions sometimes do speak volume, actions will never be able to fully depict the thoughts that were never said out loud, and why would they when there are no words to describe feelings to begin with? Actions merely fill the void of silence.

Most of the time I feel as though I’m overflowing with thoughts that never make it past being a mere concept in my head.

While hanging out with my friends, I can’t help the brewing feeling in my chest, a feeling of solace and heartiness. Yet, I choose not to say anything about the joy I feel around them.

It’s not because I don’t care enough to express my thoughts, but rather, I can’t seem to find the most consummate words to express my sincere feelings.

In silence, I’m left with the most guileless and vulnerable of thoughts that no words could ever equate to. For every spoken word, there are a thousand thoughts behind it.

Even the loudest words are never meant to be spoken but rather felt within the moment.

Sometimes being misunderstood is easier than coming up with the right words to describe your every thought and feeling.

Often, people mistake silence as a sign of indifference, when in reality there are simply no words for the moment. Silence does not equate to dislike but rather thoughtfulness.

Some things are never meant to be known. You’ll never know how many people almost called you or how many almost texted you. You aren’t meant to know everything.

Whether my choice of silence leaves me with an unexplainable ache in my chest or a feeling of happiness so immense, these unspoken words and thoughts are the most sincere ones.