After two months of anticipating the start of the year put together with the nerves of school starting, it’s time for my first column.
I spent all summer trying to come up with a name for my column. Three months later, I still didn’t have the slightest idea of what I wanted to do. I spent weeks with so many tabs of The Journal Rewired up on my screen trying to learn how to best write a column. The vast variety of topics kept me thinking.
Finally, I ended up deciding I would analyze a lyric from a song each issue. As someone who loves music of all types, I only saw this to be fitting. So here we are. Now it’s my turn(er).
Since senior year started, I’ve felt a wide range of emotions. Before school even started, there was so much anticipation for my new classes, teachers, etc. Once school started, that excitement skyrocketed.
Looking into colleges, future careers and different clubs I can partake in when I do go to school makes me want May to come so much quicker than it is. However, even with all of my enthusiasm, there was a part of me that is convinced I’m doing it all wrong.
Taylor Swift’s song from her album “Midnights” called “Anti-Hero” has a lyric that says “It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.” As I’ve started applying to colleges, my “anti-hero” has become louder and more prominent in what I do.
Even before this year, my anti-hero has given me problems. Whether it’s caused me to close myself off from my friends or made me think I need to be more reserved to go further in my life, it’s kept me from taking full advantage of what life has to offer.
In terms of The Journal, my anti-hero has definitely brought up issues along the way. There have been instances where I’ve loved a spread I designed or a story I wrote, but then a little part of me said “It’s not good enough,” and I hated looking at something I was once excited about.
More recently, the application process for Editor-in-Chief came quickly. So, I sat down to write my application and poured all of my ideas onto an arguably long Google Doc. Everything I’d been thinking about for the past three years was there. After it was done, I shared it with Mr. K and left it. That’s when the trouble started.
The nerves and the nagging from my anti-hero were so intense, I was convinced that Editor-in-Chief was so out of reach. However, I shut it off for my interviews and used it as a driving force to get to where I am now with my position on staff.
Just like in Swift’s video, I’ve been listening to the whispers from my anti-hero for far too long. I’ve let them influence how I live my life, and it’s time I take those thoughts and use them to my advantage, just as Swift did. My anti-hero is done determining my path.
