How to catch a cheater

Leah Newhouse, Reporter

Cheaters have existed since the beginning of time. From King David’s affair with Bathsheba to Kristen Stewart breaking the hearts of thousands of teenage girls by cheating on Robert Pattinson. Even students at SHS have experienced this unwanted action against them.

Junior Alaina Speiser has first-hand experience on what it’s like to be cheated on.

“The stories about what he was doing wouldn’t add up. When he would say he was somewhere…I would ask the people who were there, where he said he was…and he wasn’t there,” Speiser said. “That kind of gave it away.”

Unlike Speiser, some people are unaware of the signs of a cheater, which is a necessary aspect to know if you are trying to catch a cheater in their midst. Once you are aware of the possible behaviors of someone who is cheating, you should prepare yourself for the end results. When you find a time that is right for you, you can confront that person about his or her’s dishonesty or choose a different coping mechanism, according to experts.

The first step to catching a cheater is to know the signs of one.

Ben James, a family and marriage therapist, says that a cheater is usually more protective over his or her personal devices and that the person’s demeanor can seem strange.

“(Signs of cheating include) people keeping their cell phone more private, or being more careful to protect their cell phone and using the phone at odd times,” James said, “Sometimes it can be sudden changes in people’s behavior that can maybe seem odd. It could be people changing their passwords to email or social media.”

James also says that cheaters might show more affection for their partners to compensate for their wrongdoing.

If the signs match up, then the next step is to recognize that your significant other may be deceiving you. James says that students are skeptical to believe the truth because they neglect their partner’s faults, even if one of those faults is cheating in the past.

“I’ve seen a lot of people get so stuck in their ‘Aw, this is my boyfriend and he’s so awesome’ that they tend to overlook the signs of character flaws and also what that person has done in the past,” James said. “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”

Once you have come to a conclusion that your companion is dishonest, then it is time for the grand finale, confronting your cheater.

Sophomore Taylor Miller, who has also dealt with being cheated on, says to make the cheater confess to you by making him or her feel guilty.

“Let him know how much he means to you, and make him feel guilty even if he hasn’t done anything. Make him crack under pressure,” Miller said. “If he doesn’t admit it eventually when you know he has (cheated), he doesn’t care about you.”

Speiser, however, took another road when it came to making the cheater come clean. Instead of confronting that person, she allowed the relationship to fizzle to an end.

However you cope with this situation, Speiser suggests to others that are being or have been cheated on to not let the person get the better of you and that they cannot destroy you. You should come out of the situation stronger, more open and loving.