I told myself that I learned my lesson and I would never let somebody make me feel so unworthy again. But, I clearly hadn’t listened to myself because I was in the exact same position, yet again. 

Even when revisiting the same problems over and over again became gruesome, it helped nail down the importance of protecting my peace and prioritizing my self-worth.

When I reflect back on the spring of my eighth grade year, I remember feeling a flood of emotions all at once over a guy who brought no good to my life, rather, someone who made me question my self-worth multiple times. After I took a step back and looked to where all the signs pointed, I decided to cut off connection with him.

But, I refused to end contact with bitterness, so I decided to send a brief but thoughtful  “Happy birthday” message. 

Unfortunately, texting him wasn’t the biggest disappointment in this situation. It was giving him another chance. 

After a surprising encounter with him at the mall, we began talking again. Although I was still learning to let go of what happened between us in the past, I was excited to have the spark back. Of course, romance can be exciting, but that should never blind you from their red flags. 

Allowing myself to pursue a friendship with him after all that had happened deteriorated my confidence. I began normalizing the bare minimum, and I believed that I needed a guy to support my well-being.

“Is there ever going to be an end to all of this chaos?” I asked myself. 

Thankfully, there was. I came to a realization that I had the power to change the situation and how it affected my life. I came to the final decision to break off contact permanently and focus on healing.

Now, I notice that a lot of teenagers have fallen into this crowd where they grow dependent on unhealthy relationships. 

But, we completely undermine the fact that knowing your self-worth should be your top priority. When you learn to love yourself in and out, flaws included, you can better love others and contribute to a healthy relationship. 

As I reflect on this period of my life, I strongly regret the times where I didn’t stand up for myself. But, I realized that every trial and temptation I faced helped me gain wisdom for the problems I’d encounter in the future. 

Even as years pass from my middle school boy problems, I continue to carry on the importance of knowing your self-worth. Leaving the minute someone else doesn’t see it is crucial when attracting the right people for you.