Earlier this year, I told someone that I could see myself as a stay-at-home mom in the future. I was immediately met with their response that I was “too smart for that” and it would be a “waste of my brain.” While I don’t think that this person meant to demean stay-at-home moms, this interaction still crushed me in the moment and prompted me to think about the larger implications of this attitude.

In my opinion, these statements show a complete lack of respect for mothers in our society. How ridiculous is it to consider raising children into caring, intelligent and responsible adults worthless?

Even though modern feminism has pushed the narrative that work outside the home is more valuable than traditional homemaking, true feminism allows women the freedom to choose the right balance for themselves.

I will be the first to tell you that women should be able to do whatever job they want without worrying about gender barriers, but I also think that there is genuine value to the traditional wife and mother role.

Kids with stay-at-home parents perform better in school, according to a study by Eric Bettinger, who is a professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Education. Additionally, stay-at-home parents eliminate the cost of child-care, which is over $12,500 per year in Indiana according to Illumine. Furthermore, stay-at-home parents get around five more hours of sleep per week than working parents, according to Pew Research Center. From my own experience, more sleep means more patience, which is vital for parents.

On the other hand, there is also immense value in having women in the workforce. A survey by The Peterson Institute for International Economics concluded that companies with women in executive-level leadership positions had significantly higher net margins, the amount of profit the company gets for each dollar of revenue generated, than those without. Additionally, women tend to have different skill sets than men which can make workplaces more well-rounded, and they also help improve staff retention, according to MichaelPage, which can help to create a more stable and supportive work environment. Women also tend to be better communicators than men, which I can say is fully true from my own experience, and this can help make companies run more efficiently.

In light of the benefits of women in both traditional roles and the workforce, I believe that true feminism lies in each person’s ability to choose which option or which blend of the two options is appropriate for them.

To me, feminism means that I should be allowed to do whatever work I find most fulfilling without being put down for it. If that means that I want to be a computer programmer, I shouldn’t face any backlash because it is a traditionally male-dominated field. Conversely, if I want to be a stay-at-home mom, I shouldn’t be ridiculed as though I am wasting my potential. And, if I decide that I want to blend the two together, I should be able to do that as well without being judged for “doing too much.” All of these paths are valuable in today’s society, and there isn’t one that is inherently “better” or “worse” than the other.

And so, as I go into the next chapter of my life, I hope that whether I end up as an engineer, stay-at-home mom, wife or a mix of everything, I will be supported as I embrace feminism.