Tales from the biggest sports fan around


Logan Flake, Satire Editor

World Series. Game 7. These are the kind of moments teams and fan bases live for. The Chicago Cubs looked to end their record 108-year streak without winning the big-one. The Cleveland Indians battled to end their own championship drought and to play spoiler to the Cubs in the process. It just-so happens that there was a lot on the line for me with regards to this game’s outcome, too. Throughout the entirety of the ball game, I sat biting my nails, trying to pay attention but also unable to peel my eyes away from my carted items on MLBShop.com. This would be the game that would determine which new jersey I would buy only to wear for a week then throw into my closet, never to be worn again.
Then it happened. In the bottom of the 8th, Indians player Rajai Davis hit a massive home run to tie the game at 6 apiece. After this moment, I thought the game was all over. Surely, the Cubs were falling apart, and the Indians were finally coming alive for real. I took advantage of the eventual rain delay by taking the chance to start customizing the Indians jersey in my cart to have “Davis” on the back of it. I couldn’t believe it. This team that I had followed for all these weeks in October and November was about to make all the flack that I’d taken on twitter worth it. I got done customizing and was just about to delete the lonely Cubs jersey that laid defeated in my online cart when the game started back up.
I couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing. My favorite team, my Chicago Cubs, looked like a completely different team out there. They rode this momentum all the way to an 8-7 lead and an eventual World Series Championship win. I was in shock. I thought about calling my dad. I thought about jumping for joy. But, instead, the first thing I knew I had to do was buy myself an Anthony Rizzo Cubs jersey and forget about that Davis guy from earlier.
I’m sure you understand by now that I’m one of the most loyal fans you’ll ever meet in your life. That’s why I was so shocked to hear people calling me a “bandwagon” fan at school the morning after the game. How could anyone say such a crazy thing? I’ve followed the Cubs my whole life! Link me to any Cubs trivia challenge online (without a time limit) and I’ll prove it to you! I know everything there is to know about the Cubbies. Did you know that this 2016 World Series championship was their first since 500 B.C.? Fascinating. And even though they’re not my favorite team (anymore), I also know almost too much about the Indians. I can name you every player that was on the roster the last time that team won the World Series (if granted two minutes of prep time and access to a computer.)
Sure, I did leave my recently-rejuvenated NBA fandom up to a coin flip between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors, and sure I ended up ditching the coin’s suggestion of the Warriors once the Cavs won the championship, but that was just one time. Sure I just so happened to start watching the NFL during last year’s Super Bowl, but that was just a sheer coincidence. Any reports that I was seen burning a Cam Newton jersey whilst sobbing in the grass in a brand-new Peyton Manning Denver Broncos jersey were just lies.
To me, loyalty is everything. I remember being crushed when LeBron James left Cleveland to go play for the Miami Heat. I couldn’t believe that someone could just up-and-leave a team like that. I was so mad that I burned my James Cavaliers jersey. There was a deep pain in me until my James Heat jersey finally arrived in the mail along with a Chris Bosh Fathead. After that, I was happy.