All my life, I’ve preached about the importance of healing in silence and avoiding revenge to other people. But if I’m being completely honest, doing the opposite has crossed my mind several times throughout my life. I still recall many moments in which temptation almost overruled my moral compass, and boy, am I glad I never let the devil on my shoulder win.
I mean, imagine what would’ve happened if I had exposed the truth about an old friend of mine who unreasonably tried to drag my clean record across the dirt. Sure, everyone would know both sides of the story, but would that really redeem my tainted image?
Or what if I had relentlessly searched for someone to fill the post-breakup void to clap back at the boy who moved on within two weeks? Yes, I’d enjoy temporary stability, but that would’ve ruined my independence.
Simply put, I would’ve dug myself into a pretty deep hole if I had stooped down to their level. But letting others fire away at me without properly defending myself only left me feeling powerless and alone. My only defense mechanism at the time was blinking back tears and reminding myself that things would eventually look up, even if the possibility of a resolution felt up in the air.
Although I may have appeared weak and helpless at the time, I now applaud myself for withstanding all of that emotional turmoil without turning into the enemy. In all honesty, I went back and forth constantly, debating on whether or not I should get even, but at the end of the day, I chose peace. But trying to resist wasn’t easy, and I know for a fact that I am not alone in that struggle.
As humans, it’s in our nature to seek revenge when someone leaves us broken beyond repair. All of the agony and resentment inside builds up and kickstarts a desire to give our oppressors a taste of their own medicine.
But isn’t that hypocritical? Indulging in revenge only makes us equally as bad as our enemies. Why would we want to turn into the people we despise?
Instead of falling victim to the lure of retaliation, we can win and heal the right way. Now, keep in mind that healing doesn’t mean that you have to push your feelings aside and let the other person ‘win’ the argument. You most certainly can stand up for yourself. But don’t do it for the purpose of salvaging your bruised ego. Do it to make healing easier. And when you speak, speak with grace and understanding. Make it your intention to hear the other person out and release any bitterness, even if they fail to do so. Love your enemy.
Even if it kills you on the inside, it’ll teach you that righteous character prevails even when forgiveness feels impossible. It’ll allow you to bury residual grudges and ease your heart. And it also means you no longer have to carry unnecessary baggage. The thirst for payback will no longer weigh you down.
Instead, you can move forward with a clear mind and an open heart, one that knows making amends with what broke you is true victory.
