Learning self love

Improving self-esteem is a day by day process


It’s definitely been more difficult having confidence and self-esteem since high school rolled around. There are so many people I interact with each and every day, and it’s so easy to compare myself to someone random I see in the hallway.

Something important to remember is that everyone is unique. Everyone is so different in their own way, and just because someone has something that you don’t doesn’t mean you are any less appreciated than them.

Learning to have self-respect is different for anyone and everyone who struggles with self-confidence or self-esteem issues. Sometimes it’s confusing because you only know how you view yourself and you most likely have no idea how other people view you. That’s what always worried me and sometimes still does.

Social media plays such a big part in contributing to this issue and its effects on different people. It has made me feel like I’m not good enough or am worth less than the people I see on social media. According to Statista, in 2015 there were approximately more than 77.6 million active Instagram users in the U.S. This figure is projected to surpass 111 million in 2019. Being able to see that many people and what they’re doing and how they look makes it so easy to compare yourself and think you aren’t as talented or smart as they are. Not to mention the heightened effect other social media apps such as Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter could have when used at the same time.

Anyone who has dealt with or is dealing with any kind of self-esteem issues probably has certain things they do that help them work on overcoming their worries and insecurities. I definitely do. I always try to remind myself that I am the way I am for a reason and so is everyone else. I try to remember that it’s okay to have differences and we’re not all different for the purpose of comparing ourselves. Another thing that also helps me is to write my thoughts in a journal on days where something happens that results in my self-esteem issues getting better or worse. Then, I can reflect on what I wrote and work on what needs to be fixed and get to where I hope to be this year.

Something that has helped me throughout the years with these issues are my friends and family. Sometimes talking about it may not seem like the best thing because a lot of people can judge you or not take what you say seriously. You should have the right to say whatever you feel and say exactly how you feel because your opinion is valid. I have a couple of really close friends who have stood by me for so long and who I always go to when I’m feeling down or having an off day.

Having a good emotional support system is probably the most effective thing in terms of overcoming low self-esteem because it’s nice to have an outlet for my feelings and feel like someone understands. According to Psychology Today, “Talking with another person can give you perspective. Just know that you can minimize your problems by discussing them with those you trust.”

One thing I always remind myself is that I’m certainly not the only one who’s going through this. Sometimes it feels like you’re all alone and no one knows how you feel, when most people are probably going through it at the same time you are.

Being in high school, everyone is figuring out who they are and what they want, and that can be very confusing. Everyone goes through different things during this time in their life. So just because someone isn’t dealing with confidence or self-esteem issues outwardly doesn’t mean that they aren’t going through anything at all.

Learning to love yourself and being confident with who you are is something  that may or may not take a while to get to. I feel that anyone, no matter who they are, can make it to a happy and positive place in heir life. It does get difficult and sometimes it’s hard to see the light, but I remind myself that I can pull through whatever I’m going through. Having the right mentality can always help and if you ever feel like someone isn’t helping you or encouraging you, then encourage yourself. Tell yourself you can learn to love yourself, and in time, you will.